Sunday, March 20, 2011

Critical Acclaim

I just wrote a book im not going to plug it or anything but its titled "Spring Cleaning" and i think its pretty sick. Here is what the press had to say:

"Spring Cleaning's jacket claims it is the story of two brothers, Ding Rames and Ving Rames reunited after the events of the Civil War. SPOILER ALERT: The story is basically a rip-off of Rain Man if instead of Dustin Hoffman having idiot savant counting abilities, he has a 15 inch penis. The author even has the gall to refer to Ving as a savant. The characters are one dimensional and despite this, the author clearly gets them mixed up on more than one occasion. The novel lacks any clear scope besides the author mentioning every three pages that the story takes place in the Marvel universe via the Ghost Rider character who serves for little more than a moral compass for Ding and Ving. The novel is told from both the perspective of Ding and Ving with the final act of the story being told by SPOILER ALERT: Ghost Rider, the effect is extremely obtrusive due to Ving being severely mentally handicapped. Much like the rest of the book ending falls flat in a twist in which SPOILER ALERT Ding realizes that he is also autistic but lacks Ving's endowment and attempts suicide, Ghost rider attempts to intervene but realizes that Ding and Ving are merely projections created by Mephisto. This ending merely raises questions and mires the entire plot in an homo-erotic sub-text. While the book largely plods along at a sloppy pace there is one positive aspect worth mentioning. The author has a very peculiar and vernacular which i found intriguing, until I realized that it was only because he used the word 'negro' with extreme liberality. This inveterate usage of the word leads to some of the most creative and possibly artful usages of the word 'negro' ever conceived, but largely comes of as racist and compulsive."

Monday, March 14, 2011

Vote for Rachel

I'm writing on this blog, you people get to read it for free, so head over to this website and vote for my girlfriends dress. Its easy to register you just need an name an email address and a password. they don't even verify the email address so you can use a friends email. then after you've registered got to the voting page and rachel's dress is on the bottom row second from the right (make sure it says Rachel Wendling) then click vote. simple. after you've voted you need to do this everyday until voting ends. then sign in below with the name of your favorite teacher if i get 100 comments and 700 votes doug will write the teacher with the most votes a sincere thank you letter.

Saturday, March 5, 2011