AHMAHCHAAAS

a british woman at cameo gallery once asked me if i was from manchester and thought i was ian brown. i don't see the resemblance, but after watching this can see that we are the same, he and i. spiritually.

Slothbear Slaps the American Borener

So i go to this show last night, no one in the crowd but uggos and fatties. Everyone seems to have gone to Taco Bell beforehand because chrissy's whole house smells like mexi-melts and double decker tacos. Well whatever, the first band goes on and the fatties arent into it, they all start eating white cheddar cheetos because they are under the false impression that they are healthier for you, maybe they are, who gives a shit. The first band does suck, its like the native american leonard cohen or some shit with these two fat dudes who look like dave grohl; both of them. Anyway chief leonard or whatever is rambling about his tribe or some shit and the dave grohls are trying to bum cheetoes from the audience. The audience isn't sharing and the fat dudes are getting bummed out. There is this dude with glasses standing near me and i can literally watch him getting fatter. he went outside to smoke weed and came back 15 pounds heavier. The next band goes on and they are called something else and they are equally terrible in a totally different way. this band actually has fans though because these fat chicks who had been sitting down for the last set all get up and start swaying back and forth. At this point the whole fucking house starts creaking like the floor is going to explode because of all these lardos shifting their weight. At this point i am fearing for my life so i head outside to get away from the danger and someone outside has lit chrissys garbage can on fire and is trying to do harry potter spells or some shit. Not get sidetracked and rail against harry potter but that book has to be pretty close to utter pornography. Hundreds of thousands of kids read those books each year and you could probably count the lessons learned on one hand. Motherfucker drops out of school to kill someone? harry potter never fucking works at anything, hes like fucking scooby doo constantly falling ass-backwards into adventures and splendor. the only difference between harry and shaggy is that shaggy didnt have the same sense of entitlement as harry potter. Harry Potter acted like he ran shit because he had a scar on his forehead; but guess what, you cant have a scar that close to your brain without some of it leaking out (implying...). Anyway the show gets kinda boring so SPOILER: i didnt even stay to see Slothbear; instead i went to brooklyn and ate at this pizza restaurant (lol oxymoron) Fornino's and dude this place was so stupid, people were sitting there ordering pizza of a paper menu (wtf?). Im checking out the menu to see which pizza im gonna get. I settle on this one with mushrooms on it. I take a few glances around the restaurant and realize that the patrons are uglier than the uggos at he american boner. Everyone there is fucking gross and the people across from me are taking pictures of the pizzas and getting drool on their "i love hitler and fat chicks" t-shirt's. anyway the pizza shows up but there is no sauce on it because it is a 'white pizza' which is like a 'red pizza' if it tasted like bread and grease. not to turn this into a restaurant review or anything but the place sucks, dont go there.