Why isn't this blog cool?

Doug sent me a text this afternoon claiming that Obama said on the news that America had opened a Pandora's Box of autism and that we couldn't close it no matter how hard we tried. Doug didn't give any context for this statement and I had no idea what the fuck Doug or Obama was talking about, but it sounds pretty serious if Obama said it. I tried Googling The Obama on The Google News for over an hour, but all the results were about Obama breaking a porcelain bust of Langston Hughes at Dwight Howard's house during the all-star game and trying to pass the buck for the damages to the American taxpayers. Personally, I think if Obama broke the Langston Hughes, he should pay for it and stop trying make the American people foot the bill even if it was an accident. So has moving Brooklyn made Doug a cooler dude? Probs not. Dude doesn't even have Ray-Bans yet and he has lived there for like a month.